Bandy
by Skittle-Scattle
Summary: Bandy, adjective, of a person's legs curved outwards so that the knees are wide apart. Kruan, and a bunch of other things.
1. Typhlobasia

Yuzu: Hiiiiiiiii! /Waving madly/ Here's something _not_ about killing Colette at random that _some people_ didn't enjoy.

Yuzu! Don't be rude! Those _some people_ have a right to speak their mind, you know!

Yuzu: ...But it made me angry...T.T

Then learn to control your temper. Like me! :D

Yuzu: :l ...Pfft. Fine. Anyways, get to it PTSD slut-zombie.

...With the way you talk, I think they'll notice the major difference between your writing and mine...

* * *

It was nothing to be embarrassed about, in fact, it was perfectly normal. But Yuan's pride and shyness prevented that thought from penetrating his thick skull and giving him a peace of mind. Really, unless you or your lover were terrible at it, everyone loved it.

He watched as Kratos left, a smile on his normally forbidding face and a hop to his step. Dammit, was there nothing that could help the cobalt?

He let out a frustrated groan and threw the covers over his head, smelling the human's sweat.

_It's nothing to be embarrassed about you bitch!_ Yuan screamed at himself in his mind. _I'm sure Kratos wouldn't mind anyways-- quit being such a pussy about it! _He threw the covers back over, his fists pounding the unfortunate mattress. _Why am I such an iiidiiiooot?!_

Yuan sighed and got back in his clothes, getting ready for more Renegade work.

* * *

**Kratos **had pretty much figured out why Yuan always held back. Was the cobalt truly too shy to just tell him? Well, either way, it was cute in its own adorable and childish way. _He acts like such a virgin about it too..._ The auburn mused, chuckling to himself, earning turned heads from Renegade lackeys (the second time this day).

He stepped through the magical swishy door and walked up to Yuan's desk. Said half-elf was staring down at the papers in front of him, not really focused on them. He must have had something serious on his mind if he didn't hear the other seraph or notice he was standing right in front of him.

"...Oh!" Yuan jumped slightly when he saw the human finally. "Kratos!" He fumbled with the papers, stuffing them in his drawers. "Wh-What are you doing here?!" He looked up at the auburn, looking like one of those panicky secretaries.

"Mmm..." The human tried not to fuck the cobalt right at this moment (but that didn't stop him from undressing him with his eyes). "Nothing." He fiddled with the pens and pencils, picking up and examining the stapler as if some rare artifact.

Yuan was starting to feel nervous... "So..." He began, trying to find the right words, staring at the taller seraph's lips. He wet his own, and tried to bring his gaze to the purple mercenary's face instead. "Uh..." His lips were covered with the other lips moments ago he was staring at. "Nnn!" And then closed his eyelids, finding it almost impossible to keep them open.

Kratos smiled slightly, watching him with his open eyes. _I was right._

He continued to kiss him, flicking his tongue out and into Yuan's mouth, tasting the White Chocolate Peppermint Mocha he always drank. He fought the blunet's tongue, then ran his tongue along the half-elf's perfect teeth, and kissed him some more, both gasping frantically.

Drool ran down both of their jaws, the only time spit ever looked sexy and not disgusting. Yuan held the auburn's jaw as the blue-winged seraph's hands wandered around his small frame. The meadow-eyed man pushed his chair back farther and twisted it to get in a better position.

Kratos sat on the half-elf, pulling his long locks back so he could suck on the porcelain neck. The deco-pink seraph moaned, dragging his nails across the rosewood's thinly clothed back.

The purple mercenary went back to kissing the swollen lips of the other's.

Minutes or hours passed before they stopped (Yuan still wanted to continue kissing though).

"So..." The human chuckled lightly. "You like kissing, neh?" The smaller seraph blushed. "It's called _Typhobasia: kissing with your eyes closed_."

* * *

I...I don't know...Um...Keep an eye out (no pun intended) for another chapter for all of those who would be willing to continue on reading.

Yuzu: I'm collabing with my brother so it should be getting interesting and NOT EMO as the chapters progress. /Wink wink, nudge nudge/ :T

WHEN ARE YOU COMING **BAAAAAAAACK**?!

Yuzu: A few days before Aquafest.

FUCK YEAH!

Yuzu: C'mon peoplez! Review! We both masturbate hard-core some from reviews!

**I DO NOT!**

Yuzu: ...

Well...Not from reviews...

Yuzu: Better. Fine, we're both disease ridden whores from reviews.

That's not any better.

Yuzu: **REVIEWS ARE BETTER THEN PORN!!!**

**OH, HELL YEAH!! I'LL AGREE WITH THAT!**


	2. Amychesis

Yuzu: Seriously, bro. You write too much of this shit.

* * *

He hated how he always did it. There is a reason _why_ it's called amychesis. It's not as though he could help it either-- it was all those damn fanfics he would read when work for once was finally slow...or when he tricked Botta into doing it for him.

All that fantasy sex was getting to him. Before he discovered the brain killing fanfics, he use to be fairly "normal" with what he did. That was until some new authors made the scene and completely destroyed the typical fan's "**SWEET LOVE**" thoughts and inserted "**HARD-CORE LEMONS**." _I think there's one snuff one too..._Yuan shuddered at the thought of reading _that_ fic...In fact, he did one day and is now into that slight-abuse crap.

Kratos woke up, groaned, stretched, and then rolled over, lying half on/off the half-elf, falling back asleep almost instantly.

Meadow eyes looked at the many scratches covering the human's back, arms, and chest. He blushed, thinking of some of the stories and how he had taken many ideas from them, including fucking in a dark alleyway while piss drunk, against a wall, and in bad weather.

He threw the covers over his and the sleeping form's head, thinking of an author who had a peticular liking about scratching.

_A poxy on a doom for Skittle-Scattle..._

* * *

_**WHY DO I HAVE TO DIE?!!!**_ **O**A**O**

Yuzu: I was just thinking that's what Yuan would think if he was real and figured out that you were writing alotta stuff about him with amychesis.

Yuzu: ...So, Skittle...

Yeah?

Yuzu: Is Chase into the whole scraching thing...?

...Please review. /Looks at readers/

Yuzu: Hmph! Fine, ignore my question. Anyways, we're like herpies, treat us right (with reviews) and we'll go away so you can read another chapter.

How does that make sense?

Yuzu: It's not meant to. :3


	3. Colpocoquette

Yuzu: So we're gonna wander away for a bit...

We're stalling for more time to finish our last chapter.

* * *

"LLOYD! WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!!" Raine cried out.

"Wha--" **KER-BLAM!** The almond-brown haired boy fell to the ground with a bump the size of a goose egg.

"WHOA, HOLY SHIT FUCKER!!!" Zelos yelled out from the back, the group forming a tight circle around their fallen leader.

"Hey, are you okay?" Genis fretted over his best friend.

The Eternal Swordsman opened his eyes, the pupils were still bright and looked alert but Raine had to make sure.

"Lloyd..." She said slowly. "I want you to follow my finger okay?"

"You have my agreement," Lloyd nodded.

She moved her finger slowly in random directions, the brunet had no problem following, "Hmm...I don't think you've suffered from any major head injury..."

"Quite the contrary, Ms. Sage," Lloyd spoke, still lying on the ground. "I am in a large amount of pain. My head seems like it is about to explode."

"Whoa," Sheena gasped. "L-Lloyd's smart!"

The boy looked at the young ninja. His hands grabbed the folds of the Mizuhoian's baby-doll shirt and closed the front, hiding her bulging breast.

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" She screamed. "My ultimate weakness! Damn it all!" And crashed to the ground.

Everyone stepped away from the black-haired girl, looking at Lloyd for an answer or something.

"Such a colpocoquette," Was all he got out before a freak accident (a tree branch falling on him) knocked him out.

"Lloyd!" Zelos lifted up his lover's head in his lap, spoke random words, and shook him lightly until he woke up. "Ngh-unnn...?" The brunet slurred out. "W-What happened??"

"You hid Sheena's chest and now she's paralyzed, it happened before a one in six million phenomenon of a tree brach falling on you without breaking your neck which should have happened with a hundred percent probablity." Presea spoke (the longest ever). "What is a colpocoquette, if I may ask?"

"A..." Lloyd groaned out as he sat up, holding his head. "Open her shirt, quickly. Her yelling is hurting my head."

Raine happily did so, Sheena's screams also starting to give her a migraine (and another reason...). The Mizohoian stopped automatically, standing and acting like nothing had happened.

"A colpocoquette is a woman who has awesome boobs and she knows it, so she shows them off. Except for Sheena. She needs to show them off in order to have strength."

* * *

Yuzu: Well, that what _I_ think!

What...?

Yuzu: She has no other reason to show off her titties _unless _that's her reason or she's a skank.

Mmm...Maybe, who knows?


	4. Brassirothesauriast

Yuan's tear trailed down his cheeks before being wiped away. He was going through his late side-kick's private things. They would be boxed up and left in storage. He picked up a large and heavy book. _My photos, _The front read.

_This is Botta's photo album?_ The green-eyed thought to himself. _It wouldn't hurt to look a bit..._

He flipped it open and first noticed a picture of the brunet with a large smile holding a crappy-looking birthday cake and an angry looking him in the background. _This was my birthday a few decades ago. _Yuan wiped his eyes free of the tears that threatened to cascaded down.

He flipped more into the book, reminiscing of the past and the time he had spent with his best friend. Pictures of Botta being forced to carry large bundles of paper, the two pulling pranks on some of the cooks, Botta tripping over his robe.

Then there were no more pictures. The cobalt was saddened by this, quickly flipping through the blank pages. He found a picture of a curvy woman wearing bra. _...Botta's got good taste..._ He decided to keep looking in it. The seraph quickly came to regret it, coming across a very disturbing picture: the blunet in a very sexy black bra.

_What the fuck?! _The Renegade leader blushed as his temper over took him. _I...I don't ever remember wearing a bra._

The more he flipped through it, the more he saw in Botta's twisted and perverted world. More pictures of bras and other people (especially woman) wearing them. Bras of all sizes and styles: lacy, full, see-through, erotic, adorable, cheeta-printed, frilly, gothic, and innocent. A few bras were also actually stuffed in the book.

_Just what kind of person was Botta?!_ Yuan slammed it shut, buried it in the bottom of the box, wiped his hands on his legs as if they were covered in blood, and ordered other Renegades to finish boxing his items up.

* * *

He found it. He found it while one day reading through one of the new books a random Renegade had given him.

_Brassirothesauriast: A person who collects brassieres or pictures of woman wearing them._

* * *

Yuzu: I serious cannot see Botta having an actual sex life.

So then I proposed that Botta must be a brassirothesauriast.

Yuzu: And now I can only think of Botta being a peeper.

So lock your doors and cover those windows ladies...Or change in your bathroom if you don't already.

Yuzu: He might be peeking! /Covers chest/


	5. Melolagnia

Yuzu: You're such a queer, Aran.

Noooooo...I thought liking men and dating them meant I was seriously, hard-core, ghetto-ass, mother fucking straight.

Yuzu: I know, and when you tell Chase you love him, you only mean it in a way so you can get a girlfriend.

That's right, 'cause I love pussy.

Yuzu: I do.

And cock.

Yuzu: That too.

Yuzu: As an apology for our readers, I'm going to make Aran write this chapter with only a little bit of help from me.

Argh! I hate it when you make me do most of it!! DX

* * *

The two were sitting quietly in the home they shared, not a word being passed by. Kratos flipped through his new book as Yuan rubbed lotion on his perfect-but-suffered-from-the-occasional-dry-skin fingers. It wasn't that they were angry with each other; it's just that there was nothing to talk about.

The raver hated silence. Really.

He stood up and put a c.d. in his "ghetto-blaster-piece-of-crap-stereo" system (as the Kandi kid had affectionaly called it) and pushed play. A click, and then a loud whirring sound, some beeping, and a beat mixed in with the usual techno sounds began to flood the room. It suddenly skipped.

_Your cruel device_  
_Your blood like ice_  
_One look could kill_  
_My pain your thrill_

Yuan and Kratos looked at each other, the smaller jumping on the taller man, tearing off every piece of clothing either had on.

_I wanna love you but I better not touch_

The blunet straddled the auburn.

_I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop  
_  
Kratos grabbed a hold of Yuan's feminine hips and ground them into his own, extracting a loud groan from the raver.

_I wanna kiss you but I want it too much_

Yuan sucked on Kratos' tongue.

_I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison_

Kratos crushed the green-eyed, P.L.U.R.R. believer's lips against his, tasting some blood._Because you love me, you love me  
Let me go  
And you're my lover, you pay me  
Twice my size  
And on your knees you lay  
In my thighs_

The blunet sucked on the auburn's dick, staring up at the man, beating the cock on his tongue from time to time, before wrapping his lips around the hard flesh again._My baby, my baby  
Let me go  
And if you love me, you love me  
Let me go  
Cause I'm your brother, your brother  
Have some pride_Kratos pulled the younger up by his hair and kissed him roughly, forcing his tongue in the mouth of the smaller.  
_  
__And now you love me, you love me  
Then die tonight_

The red-head spat on his fingers and shoved them up in the cobalt, the meadow-eyed man moaning at the feel._Broke her little bones  
On the boulders below  
And while she fell I delightfully said_His fingers moved and scissored around the tight space, the porcelain raver crying out for more._She took my hand and I let her go  
She broke her little bones  
On the boulders below  
Took my hand and she ended it all  
Broke her little bones on the boulders below  
And while she fell, I smiled._They fought with their tongues, sucking earlobes, and biting necks.

Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie  
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie  
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie  
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie

Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie  
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie  
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie  
Lalalalalalalala lie lie lie

_T-T-Tell your boyfriend  
If he says he's got beef  
That I'm a vegetarian  
And I ain't fucking scared of him _

Yuan planted sweet kisses along the rosewood's jaw line.

_Never the ho  
Won't trust the ho  
Because the ho  
Won't trust me_Kratos grabbed the bottle of lotion, and passed it over to the cobalt to coat his dick with it. The rosewood lifted up his legs high into the air as Yuan pushed himself in, feeling the red-head's virgin-like tightness. The auburn rested his head on the sofa's arm, keeping his legs spread in a wide "V" shape, watching as the blunet began his thrusting.

Fucking on the dance floor  
Fucking on the dance floor  
Everybody's fucking, fucking on the dance floor

The uke-of-the-moment groaned out his lover's name in a noisy call, telling the blunet to go faster.The red-head watched, breathing shallowly, the emerald-eyed man leaned down to suck on one of Kratos' dark nipples, pursing his heart shaped lips tightly and pinching at it with his teeth.

Sing for absolution  
I will be singing

_Labyrinth in a shape of a heart  
Love's secret architecture  
I find myself to be lost in the  
Arms of your fate  
_  
Yuan released the abused nipple and kissed the auburn, still thrusting, but a bit more gently.He was going to come soon, sensation growing, taking away his fun but heightening his excitement. He jerked himself off, hand moving in a blur.

I'd kill to share your pain  
(And carry the shame)  
And sell my soul for you just to say  
Love's name in vain  
Again and again

I dream what you're dreaming  
And feel what you're feeling  
Love's our shadow on the wall  
With the face of god

Yuan moaned and pulled himself out, Kratos placing his moth close to the blunet's dick. The raver sprayed his stuff into the auburn's mouth, some dribbles crawling its way down the man's square jaw. The meadow-eyed man was slowly coming down from his super-orgasm that had gone all I-are-ninja-shit on him.

_I can't come  
Remain numb  
And play dumb_Yuan leaned down and sucked Kratos' fuckin' boner like that was going to be the last time ever. The auburn rested his head back down, pinching at his sensitive nipples, saying crap to the cock-sucker.

_Machine above  
The image of  
Human love_

_Back to front  
On the hunt  
Replicunt_He was going to come soon, finally. He hated the feeling of knowing he's was going to but wasn't able to, like needing to sneeze and then unable to.

New wave  
Sex slave  
Auto-save

He stopped breathing for a moment as he ejaculated in Yuan's mouth, who gagged on it a bit, having not been warned previously. He was smacked on the side of the head, "Asshole." The auburn laughed lightly, pulling the Raver into a snowball-kiss.

Not to say he liked how he tasted by itself but he often wondered what he tasted like in the skinnier man's mouth. And quite frankly...

He thought about doing it more often.

* * *

Yuzu: So do you peeps forgive us?

Peeps? Really, Yuzu, peeps??

Yuzu: Now, all you mighty-fine, cool, home-dogs' wanna get to reviewing. Maybe then my brother will actually get around to finishing some crap, like those stories and pictures you promised me. /Cough/ Lazypieceofshit /Cough/ Aren't I a sweet sister?

Yuzu: P.S. Melolagnia: amorous feelings brought on by songs. Here's how to say the chapters by their names: tiff-lo-bay-sia, ah-me-kay-sis, coal-poh-qway-tte, ba-zzier-o-thesaurist, and mell-o-lag-knee-uh. Have fun using them! :3 We chose multiple songs for this chapter because, I'm sorry, most guys can't cum within one song. If they're going at it with a C.D. playing, it's going to take a while. Right, Aran?

I banish this injusice! BANNNNNNNNISHHHHHHHH!! But you can still write a yaoi involving only one song, your story, not mine. It's just that I think only one of my stories will ever have only one song playing.

Yuzu: Didn't you use songs for other stories?

Yeah...Amomaxia and a few other stories. What for?

Yuzu: Hey, peeps, make mah brother happy and read those!

Yuzu! They can read it if they want to! Don't try to persuaded them with your corrupt words!

Yuzu: Yeah, well, what if I tell them the real reason why you wrote--

Please review! Hey, Yuzu! Lookie what I got! /Waving around Monster/

Yuzu: Gimmie, gimmie!!!


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